Information and Support for You Following the Loss of Your Baby (24 Weeks and Over)
We would like to extend our deepest sympathy to you at this time. The early days following bereavement can often be bewildering and difficult, we are here to support you through this. This page offers information and explains some of your options. Providing practical guidance so that you are aware and understand the choices available to you.
Memory making with your baby
You and your family may wish to spend time with your baby. You may wish to wash, dress, hold and cuddle your baby, you can take as much time as you need to do this. It may be possible to take handprints, footprints and a lock of hair too if you wish; a midwife will be present to help with this.
Photographs
At Gloucester, we have specialist photographers who can come to take photos of your baby. This service is free of charge. Please ask your midwife if this is something you would like us to arrange. There are leaflets available in the room with advice and information. You can also take as many photographs as you wish yourself.
Blessing of your baby
When your baby is born we can contact one of our hospital chaplains to bless your baby. Or your own religious leader if you prefer. If you do not have a particular religious faith or do not wish for your baby to be blessed, you are still welcome to talk to one of the chaplains if you feel this would benefit you.
Bereavement Midwives
Our bereavement midwives are here to give you practical and emotional support going forward. They will offer to visit you at home, support you with funeral arrangements and decision making. They can also arrange for you to see your baby again once you have gone home.
Going home
Following your discharge from hospital, your community midwife will offer to visit you at home. Your GP and health visitor will be informed about what has happened and may contact you.
You will be offered a follow up appointment with your hospital consultant at around 8 to 10 weeks post birth, if your baby has not had a post-mortem examination.
If your baby is having a post-mortem, the consultant will want to wait to offer a debrief until the results are back.
Post-mortem results can take up to 6 months. Unfortunately, this is a national issue and beyond our control, however if you feel you need to be seen before post-mortem results are available, please contact the bereavement midwives. Their contact information is listed below.
Registering your baby
The midwife or doctor will issue you with either a certificate of stillbirth or a neonatal death certificate. This certificate will be scanned and sent to the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages by the bereavement team. Gloucestershire registration service will then contact you in the following days to arrange an appointment to register your baby.
Funeral arrangements cannot be made until registration has been completed. When you visit the registrar, you will be given a certificate that enables burial or cremation for your baby.
Please note: If parents are unmarried, the mother of the baby must be present for registration.
| Registry offices are located at: | ||
|---|---|---|
| Cheltenham | Dursley | Cinderford |
| Gloucester | Stroud | Tewkesbury |
| Coleford | Lydney | Cirencester |
| Wotton-under-Edge | Moreton-in-Marsh |
Opening hours will vary depending on the location.
Funeral arrangements
Bereavement midwives will be available to offer guidance, support, and advice throughout the process of arranging your baby’s funeral.
Your baby can be buried or cremated in a cemetery or crematorium of your choice. You will need to take the burial or cremation certificate issued by the Registrar to your chosen funeral director, along with the release form provided by the hospital.
Although the idea of arranging and attending a funeral can feel overwhelming or distressing, many parents later find that having a service can bring comfort and provide a meaningful opportunity to honour their baby.
Hospital Remembrance Books
There are Remembrance Books at both Gloucester and Cheltenham hospitals. You are welcome to place an entry in memory of your baby. Your message should be no more than 50 words. Your message will then be inscribed by hand into the book, as well as a handinscribed copy for you to keep. If you would like to make an entry into one of the books, please send your text to ghn-tr.spiritualcare@nhs.net. Please add your name, address and state the hospital that you’d like your entry to be made at.
The books can be viewed at any time when the chaplain staff are available. Please liaise with the bereavement midwives, if you wish to come and see the book prior to, or after, making an entry, they will help you to organise this.
Bereavement Garden
At Gloucester hospital we have a memorial garden to remember all the babies born sleeping, and those who lived for a short time.
In the garden, we have seeded paper available for you and other family members to write your baby a letter should you wish. Letters can then be posted in the white post box. During the springtime we plant your letters into the garden to grow. We also have a Memory Tree. A lovely handmade piece of art and the brass and copper leaves can be personalised with your own special messages of remembrance.
If you wish to have a leaf dedicated to your baby, visit the website below by typing the link into your internal browser.
Memory Tree Leaf Request
https://cheltenhamgloucesterhospitalscharity.beaconforms.com/form/a7c6449e
Useful Contacts
Bereavement Midwives
Tel: 07812 700 625 or 0300 422 5564.
Hospital Chaplain
Cheltenham General Hospital
Tel: 0300 422 4286
Gloucestershire Royal Hospital
Tel: 0300 422 6200
Further support:
Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (SANDS)
Tel: 0808 164 3332
Website: www.sands.org.uk
You can also download the Sands Bereavement Support App from Google Play or the App Store. The app will allow you to view in the language of your choice.
Antenatal Results and Choices (ARC)
Translation of some leaflets is available.
Tel: 0845 077 2290 or 0207 713 7486
Website: www.arc-uk.org
Forget-Me-Not
A local baby loss peer support group. Please search for ‘forget me not baby loss support group’ on Facebook.
The Lullaby Trust
Tel: 0808 802 6868
Website: www.lullabytrust.org.uk
Child Bereavement Trust (CBT)
Tel: 0800 02 888 40
Website: www.childbereavement.org.uk